Should You Get Married?
Posted by: renee
| Posted in: Couples
| Posted on: Nov 17, 2015
Should you get married? Deciding whether or not to tie the knot is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever have to make. That passionate, pheromone induced love nest you’re in will one day be replaced by a real relationship with warts and hiccups. Those rose coloured glasses can’t stay on forever!
Take the time to reflect on your reasons for wanting to marry this person. Don’t assume your reasons and your partner’s align. Take the time to think and talk about it.
Should You Get Married or Not?
Are you marrying just because you’ve lived together for awhile? Are you marrying because it’s the next step or because you or your family or friends expect you to? Or are you marrying because you’ve talked about these and other important topics below and believe you’re a good fit together?
There are several things to consider before tying the knot:
- What are your goals for being married? What do you want? Status, security, partnership, growth, or something else?
- What are your expectations? How about your partner’s? Do you expect you’re marrying someone who will be the best lover, companion, provider, homemaker, father, mother, etc.? Are you expecting him/her to be ‘your everything’ or someone who will meet some of your needs?
- How important is romantic love to you both?
- What are both your ideas about spending time together or apart? I.e. would it be okay if you went to a party on your own?
- Do you want kids? Does your partner? If so, what are your beliefs about raising a child, about discipline?
- Are you able to be accountable for the things you do in your relationship? Is your partner?
- How well can you communicate and work through conflict?
- What might be both of your deal breakers? Infidelity? Crime? Living or working in different towns, cities, provinces, or countries from one another?
- Do you really like, appreciate, and respect your partner for who they are? Do s/he feel the same way about you? (Or are you thinking about his/her potential, of who you hope s/he will one day become?)
- Do you have similar values, goals or beliefs about your careers? Your future in the workforce? Where you want to live? How you want to spend your time? Who is going to clean the toilets? How much order or disorder you each can tolerate around the house?
- How are each of you with your money? What are your financial goals? Do you agree? (Spending and budgeting is a huge area of disagreement for many couples!)
This is by no means an exhaustive list but being able to both answer these questions to both of your satisfactions will probably give you the answer as to whether or not you should say “I do”.