You may be asking, “How the heck can someone go to couple’s counselling alone? That doesn’t make sense.” But think about it. There are a number of reasons you may want to go talk with a psychologist alone.
First, your partner may not be willing. You may know you have things you both need to work on the relationship. But you just can’t get him or her to go. Does that mean it’s pointless? Heck no! There are things you can figure out and/or learn.
Second, you may need or want the chance to talk with someone impartial about what’s been happening in your relationship. Sometimes it can help you figure out whether the red flags you, your family, or friends have been seeing are BIG or little. It can help to figure out what you could try to address these flags be they addiction, anger, communication, selfishness, choices, or something else. Learning to speak up about the issue(s) or learning to set some clear boundaries with him or her can help you figure out whether things can change for the better or not.
In circumstances where you or your children are at risk of violence at the hands of your partner, it can be helpful to talk with a counsellor about both a safety plan and community resources you could access.
Third, you may realize there’s some things you need to change that would make a positive difference in your relationship. Perhaps you have some troubles with anger, or you get defensive. Or perhaps you shut down whenever there’s a problem and withdraw emotionally or physically. A psychologist can help you learn how to make some positive changes in the way you communicate so that things are more likely to work in the way you want them to work.
Lastly, perhaps you know that your partner isn’t willing or able to change and you’ve decided you want to stay in the relationship anyway. Talking with a therapist can help you figure out what steps you could take to be as happy and healthy as possible.
The reasons someone may choose to come to couple’s counselling solo can really vary. Talking can make a big difference. Want things to get better? Let’s talk.
