Couple Time 101: Deepening Your Friendship


couple walking hand in hand

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog about 3 ways to help troubled relationships. I talked about friendship, influencing one another, and trying to make things better.  I’ve been thinking about advice on relationships because I’m often asked, “What makes a happy marriage or a happy relationship?” Friendship is key.

What do you know and like about your partner?


Taking time to think about what you know about the person you’re with that you like can be helpful in remembering why you’re together. Below are some questions to ponder:


Who are your partner’s friends? What does s/he like about them? What do you like about them?

What’s his or her philosophy of life? How does it mesh with yours?

What are 3 things you really admire about your partner?

What are your partner’s life dreams? How do they relate with yours?

What do you like talking about together?

What kinds of common interests do you have? If your interests are somewhat different, what do you enjoy about her or his interests?


Intimate relationships


Many relationships start off with a lot of fire and passion. Maintaining intimacy and affection can be challenging but is important to any committed relationship.


How often to do touch or kiss one another affectionately?

What do you find sexy and attractive about him/her?

What do you do to create romance in your relationship? What does s/he do?

What do you like about your sex life?

What are some ways you show you partner you love her/her?

What do you do that helps turn him/her on sexually?

What do you do to show your love or affection before you end the day?


Values and Goals


What are some of the goals you have in your life together? Where are you at in terms of accomplishing them?

What values do you really respect or admire in your partner?

How do you honour each other’s life dreams?

How are you philosophies of love and friendship compatible?

What are your values in regards to money and finances? How do they fit with your partner’s?

How important is fun, adventure, or play in your relationship? What do you do together for fun?

What are your values regarding independence and connection? In what ways are they similar to your partner’s?

Liking and enjoying the person you’re with is important. Expressing our love for our partner helps us maintain some connection. Sharing some values and goals helps us feel like we’re on a journey together and can help us weather difficult times.

What about you? What are you doing to deepen your friendship with the person you’re with? Suppose you could do one small thing today for your friend, what might you do? What difference do you think it might make in your relationship?

I offer a marriage retreat for couples wanting to improve their relationships. I welcome your questions or inquiries!