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happy couple in a car


The beginning of a romantic relationship is so amazing.  You walk on cloud nine. The world somehow seems brighter and everything you do has a glow around it. Even when problems do arise, you’re able to brush them off, minimize them, or feel confident that they’re going to get better. After all, you’re in love!!


The early days are often spent together talking, kissing, having fun, going out for dinner, doing activities together, and getting to know each another.  It’s natural for you to focus on each another and as you do, your friendship and love can grow into appreciation, pride, and admiration.

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a disconnected couple


A couple is sitting in a restaurant. They’re not talking often. They’re on their phones texting, looking out the window, picking at their food, and looking bored and unhappy.

Let’s imagine that on the way to the restaurant, my imaginary couple, Jane and Devon, got in a minor argument. Jane complained that Devon was driving too fast. He snidely told her that unlike her, he’s never had a speeding ticket.

Nothing more is said. But you could cut through the tension with a knife. They fume in silence the rest of the way to the restaurant. This argument is like so many others—unfinished and unresolved. Continue reading

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Emotional connection when you're apart formula

The Early Years

Think for a moment about when you first started dating. What attracted you to your partner? What did s/he do that you really liked? What did you do together that made you feel close, that built a deep and strong connection?

When you thought about him or her in the early days, what fueled those thoughts? Did you imagine things the two of you had already done together, did you imagine watching her or him talking or laughing, or did you imagine what you were going to do together and how much fun it was going to be? Continue reading

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Abusive relationships


Suzanna was swept off her feet by Stanley. He was charismatic, charming, interesting, and really attentive. In the early days they would go out for really long dates and the time would fly.

After 6 months of dating, Stanley asked Suzanna to move in with him and she said yes. A week prior to moving in, she began questioning her decision when they got in their first fight. Stanley tried to make love to Suzanna one day and she turned him down. She was feeling distracted by work and antsy and just wasn’t in the mood. He didn’t like it one bit. Continue reading

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Sad CoupleLet’s face it. Relationships can be tricky. They can be really hard. But how do you know when it’s time to leave? Continue reading

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A frog prince

She was planning his funeral. She thought about all the people she would invite, what her husband’s best friend would say, what food and drink she would serve, and how she would record the whole thing so that when their daughter was old enough, she could watch the video to really get to know her dad. Continue reading

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Couple doing the tango

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill go up and down the hill on each other once a week for 30 minutes, whether they both feel like it or not. They have the routine down pat. In fact, neither one of them really needs to think about what they’re doing because they long ago memorized the moves! If one or both of them doesn’t orgasm, Jack is sure he’s losing his touch. Continue reading

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Couple embracingIn my work with couples, there is often some dissatisfaction around the frequency of sex. One person may feel deprived while the other feels pressured. The pressure can build to the point where there is little touching–whether it’s sexual or not. The person who is missing sex tries to be patient but can become frustrated and blurt out comments that only make the situation worse. Continue reading

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Hot air balloons2011 is coming to an end. I’d like to share my most popular posts with you and invite your comments!

Relationship Advice

Lots of people want help in making their relationships better. Whether that’s through a couple’s counselling retreat, couple’s counselling, or reading blog posts like mine, couples are motivated to re-connect in more meaningful ways. Continue reading

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Couple walkingJack and Jill had been married for over 10 years. They had two very busy children. Between work and parenting, they began to feel like they were leading parallel lives.

As the demands of work and home-life continued, they began to argue over finances, chores, and sex. Jill felt taken for granted, Jack felt abandoned. As his loneliness grew, he withdrew more and more. Continue reading

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